Pagpapalaya

I was reading Ayee Macaraig's blog awhile ago and she had an entry about her theology oral exams where she experienced the "pagpapalaya" in college life. "Pagpapalaya" meaning college life is finally over after all hardships, difficulties, pressures, failed quizzes/exams, torturous "sindak" moments from philosophy and theology professors during oral exams, and more academic stuff that contribute to developing the eyebags in every student's face. You're finally free from the hateful period of your life, studying.

Then in her entry, she had a question in mind after her "pagpapalaya". She asked herself, "What now?", the very same question I had right after our thesis defense two years ago. After the seems-like-neverending "puyat" nights for our thesis, there was this feeling of content and relief that lead me to say, "Haaaaay, sa waaaakaaaaaas! Tapos naaaa!" However, simultaneously, there was also the feeling of being lost, like as if I was suddenly looking for something to do, something to spend my time on, something to work on, as if I wanted to go back in working for my thesis again. Then again, maybe I was already getting bored, hehe.

But with this freedom from studying and "pagpapalaya" from a student's perspective of hell, I really can't say that graduating from college is freedom. College is hard, but life outside is harder. After college, you step in the career life, which I honestly can describe as "prison" from the life of the free (except for those who have their own businesses or who were just born rich hehehe). For some weird reason, while I was in college, I tend to diss studying and I wanted to end my education so quickly and graduate immediately; but, now that I am already working, I complain about getting so stressed in work and wish that I could go back to being a student again. Sometimes I visit the Ateneo campus once in a while and imagine myself being a student again, but the times have changed and people around the campus have changed, then I just say to myself, move on.

College for me was fun in many ways. I hated lining up in the cafeteria to get some average-taste food, but I miss those long lines and the taste of cafeteria food. I complained about the books that I had to read or bring to school, but bringing those books were good exercise for my arms, they were even nice substitutes for pillows in sleeping hehe. The heck, I even miss the hateful conyotic people in Ateneo who think highly of themselves, yet the girls of the group were hot and they wore skimpy clothes like mini skirts and spag straps. It was small fun, but there were lots of small "funs" in college that made my college life memorable. Barkada moments, study groups, slumber party during class, hanging out in the campus or outside at Katipunan, and simple "samahans" with the people that you care about and love to be with. College was hell, but it was fun as hell too. I believe "pagpapalaya" after college is not about being free from student life, but having that free mind and free heart to realize that being a student wasn't really that bad, it was actually fun, and it should be a reason for you to smile about whenever stress due to work comes your way in the real world. :)